The invisible hands that hold you

While looking through the window, contemplating on what was left of my garden after a few snowy days, something caught my attention. There, among the bushes, was a dry leaf that looked as though it was magically suspended in the air. I could see that it was being shaken by the wind, and though it wasn’t connected to any branch, it didn’t fall onto the ground. As I got closer to look at it, I realized that the leaf had been caught in a thin, almost invisible, but very strong spider web. The only reason the leaf hadn’t fallen to the ground was because it was caught in the web. The dry leaf remained there through snowy, windy, and rainy days, held by the web.

I’ve felt like this leaf for the past two years, shaken by the winds of trials, wondering how long I could hold on. Family expectations, ministry demands, friends’ betrayals, illnesses, loss of loved ones, the sins of others and my own sins have left me without strength. Sometimes, well-intentioned friends would advise me to hang in there and keep holding on to Jesus. But the truth is, I didn’t have the strength to hold on. I needed someone to hold me.

I remember one morning when trying to pray, I said, “Lord, I feel helpless, and I don’t feel your presence with me. But I know that your Word is true despite my feelings, and you say that you are always with me, in me, and for me. Even though I can’t feel your presence in these trials, I want to trust that you are here working for my good.” The more I rehearsed my problems in my mind, the less I felt God’s presence with me. The more I rehearsed the gospel in my heart, the nearer Christ seemed to be. Promises like the one found in Isaiah 41 v13 began to unfold before my eyes as the assurance of His presence and care filled my heart: “For I, the LORD your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”

There is One who not only understands our trials but has overcome the greatest trials for our sake. Jesus came to us when we couldn’t go to him. He was cut off from the Father’s presence so that we can have his presence always with us and in us. Perhaps, like me, you feel like this leaf or have felt like it in the past when the winds are strong and you have no strength to stand. Jesus doesn’t expect you to muster up enough strength to hold on to Him, but He calls you to rest in His loving arms. In the hardest moments of your life, when you don’t have the strength to hold on to Him, He holds you. The hands that were pierced and nailed to the cross are the same hands that hold us in our weaknesses.

Prayer:
Heavenly Father, today I lack the strength to hold on to you. My trials are too many and I can’t fight anymore. But your promises are true, and because of that, even though I cannot see you or feel your presence, I know that you are holding me. Today I come to rest in the hands that will never let me go. In Jesus’ name. Amen.